Remember being a child, getting ready for school, going to school and just hoping you would be liked?

I remember that hollow pit in my gut like it was yesterday. Like a 7-11 Slurpee, you drink it from the oversized straw and all the inside stuff comes through-then you don’t get anymore. It looks fine from the outside-lots of pretty pink slush.

{I love pink}

But the inside is empty. You are left sucking air. I am sucking air more often than not these days. I am moving to the beach house as soon as the kids are out of school. I hope it helps beat this depression I go in and out of.

{I really need my own space}

So often I find my office space in the parking lot of Buck’s. Today, as opportunity allows, I go inside and set up a table as my desk. Instant office!

I watch those people who stand all seemingly nice and pretty at the bus stop or waiting on the train.  Anywhere. In a line at the market or for a public toilet.

{hey…we all need to pee…}

Quite frankly, the nice and pretty standing people bug me. They project to the world an image of do not approach me. So many of them just don’t smile. Why would you not smile and say hello. A simple Good Morning. But so many are all so caught up in their own shit. Their mortgage, marriage, kids, dogs, lovers, addictions, desires. We all have them. So why be all bitch and not say hello?

I saw a man shaving at a bus stop a few weeks ago.


True, I wondered, “Why don’t you groom at home?!?”,

My point is, at least he was genuine. He had it going on!

As I sit in my corner office by the door at my local Starbucks, I stare at the faces. Still wondering–why?

{oooooh wait. She has lace corset fingerless gloves! Love them! And She is smiling.}

Maybe the happy people all have nice underwear on? There is something to be said for nice unders or a new wax you know. I’m sort of smily today, and while I have a new tan, I have no new wax and I’m in post-vacation, post-workout, Under Armour workout garb. So that theory blows.

I have access to the door so I can smoke freely and still see my shit at my desk. OK, now that I have been sneered at outside for smoking, I can get back to my point.

To the masses of grouchy, self-absorbed people–grab a morning popper, sniff fucking glue or just light up a cigarette for fuck sake! This place, this purgatory that we all reside in would be so much easier to deal with if the girl with the blue umbrella would just smile and say hello!

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