DDF, OroGold, Dr. Brandt, Revive, Dr. Perricone, LUSH, Korres, Lancome and Kinerase

These are the face cream brands in my medicine cabinet right now.There are thick creams for hydration, smooth silky lotions for the days my skin is more oily and always the never-ending supply of magical serum to swipe gently before applying other products.

I have said before I am very much a product junkie. The steeper the claim to amazing and unbelievable results the better.

The fancy shiny orb of plastic says:
Look younger in ten days!
Fine lines and crows feet disappear!
Radiance and pre thirties youth will shine through
You will be loved unconditionally
You are thin and beautiful
Give me your money & I will make you feel worthy

Okay – I am being a bit snarky, but when sitting here thinking about cleaning and taking care of my face, it really is hilarious that the old lady down the hall from my mother has been using cold water and Vaseline for over 80 years. What does Vaseline cost? Like three bucks or something? That’s right – her skin is smooth a babes ass. Seriously, skin gorgeous like Christie Brinkley. Her outfits and silly nonsense give her away as crazy old lady but if you closed your eyes and touched her face you would think she was fertile.

That’s okay for her anyway. I really do love my products. I am giddy with anticipation of the abilities and hope that comes in a new package.

The packaging makes a big difference in how pricey and how effective the new anti aging miracle will be. If the box is lined in one-sided velvet and you spent a weeks pay – you are in for some happy finger to eye tapping!

I play this game of beauty all the time. I have a closet full of “only the best” to make me the woman I was destined to be. Young, lively, smooth & smiling, motherly, sexy, willing to do anything – ya you get the picture clearly. As an added bonus more often than not these items often have the word douche printed somewhere on the label; which of course just makes me want to rub my FACE gently with soft massaging circular motions for thirty to sixty seconds.

You can think whatever you want about Vaseline versus the “Big Wigs”. It’s not really the point what I use anymore. I enjoy the hope and the ritual of it.

Bringing home the department store bag with tissue wrapped treats and free samples inside. The parcels waiting for me to unwrap them, fondle them if I may. The careful removal of the thin white plastic lid with the flippy little handle on the side so as not to disturb the magic contained within. The effort taken to cleanse and properly care for my face may be the only act of self-care I practice in a day lately.

{Really, always ask for FREE samples}

I am well aware that Missy down the hall from my Mother was on to something a long time ago. She doesn’t smoke. And she eats well. I know because my mother feeds her. It makes me giggle when I see her, all lively and full of energy and perky boobs.

{Bitch WILL flash and show you her really big upright tits at any given moment}

Hmmph, Vaseline and obviously no breastfeeding.

For me, it will be a micro-dermabrasion day along with some rich luxurious healing cream. A little (alot) depuffing serum and I think I will exfoliate and deeply moisturize my lips.

After applying, tapping, massaging and rinsing very well……..maybe I will indulge in a glass of water.

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